I'm really into asian looking animals
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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