You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
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