It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize