Already got asked if we're dating
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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