so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
