He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
