great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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