so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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