I think im going to throw up on grandma
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
