Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
