SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
