I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
