Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
