Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
