Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
