We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Randomize
