arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
