i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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