what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
