She said her name was "party"
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
