Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Still dying that you shit outside
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
