I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
