There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
