You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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