never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Randomize
