Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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