So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
