ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
