we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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