So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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