that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
