I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
don't judge my taste in strippers
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
