Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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