I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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