your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
