im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
