Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
