How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize