Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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