he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
