can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
