Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
