I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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