Acid is not a monday night drug
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
