I don't think brook has ever known best
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
