I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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