operation have a gay friend backfired
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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