Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize