I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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