stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
