So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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