Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
i can't believe i had my finger in that
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
