the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
