you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
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