i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
