So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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