he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
