I'm gonna have a badass scar
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
