Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
