party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Randomize
