Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Randomize
