My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
